5 annoying questions people ask when you're newly engaged
Getting engaged is one of the most exciting times of your life. Everybody congratulates you, many a cork is popped and you can’t stop looking at your brand new, sparkly engagement ring.
But with the congratulations and parties comes the questions, ALL THE QUESTIONS! You’ve no-doubt heard at least some of these by now, but let’s look at the questions on everybody’s lips once you announce the big news, and how you can tackle them..
“Have you set a date?”
Okay, so lots of us are guilty of asking this question because we’re over excited about the news and want to start getting excited for the wedding itself.
For those asking – refrain from asking for a specific date as it’s really quite unlikely the couple has even thought about that yet, focus instead on the congratulations and asking when the planning will start. That’s a natural way for the couple to share the details they have thought about, rather than stress them out about what they haven’t!
For the couple answering – don’t feel guilty if you don’t have a clue, you literally just got engaged! You’re still on a high and it’s totally fine to say that you haven’t got to any of the planning part yet.
“Who’s going to be your best man/have you picked your bridesmaids yet?”
This can be a dangerous question and it can induce some serious anxiety for couples who just don’t know how to pick the all-important wedding party. Or perhaps you know but there are people who might be upset by your decision.
I could write a whole new blog post on this tricky subject alone, but for now be confident in saying it’s too early to make that decision and that you want to enjoy celebrating with everyone! Or if you are totally happy with your decision and there’s no chance you’re going to change your mind, go ahead and let them know!
“How many people are you inviting to the wedding?”
Roughly translated, this can often mean ‘am I going to be invited or not?’ This might feel awkward and uncomfortable if you have no intention of adding that person to your guest list, but don’t stress about giving any kind of answer just yet.
Even if you have thought about it, keep things vague and say you’ve only got a rough guest list so far and it really depends on the venue. A more extreme version of this question is ‘can I come to the wedding?’ Excruciating and bizarre, this does sometimes happen, even if it is asked in a jokey way. Answer it in exactly the same way.
“How did he propose?”
Okay, so this one isn’t strictly an ‘annoying question’ as you’re probably more than happy to tell everyone about such an exciting moment, but be prepared with the detail you do and don’t want to share.
It sounds silly but there might be aspects of the proposal you’d rather keep to the two of you – does your auntie who you rarely see really need to know the ins and outs of exactly what your new fiancé said at the all important moment, or is that detail something you want to keep to the two of you? Agree together what you want to share and get ready to tell that same story a lot over the next few weeks!
“Will you have kids straight after the wedding?”
Ugh, this one is just the worst but sadly it does get asked. More often than not this will be a question from the older generation who don’t realise it’s not generally the done thing to ask such a personal question, but you’d be surprised that this question does crop up.
The good news is it can be tackled pretty easily, whatever the real answer is! Explain that for now you’re focusing on enjoying being newly engaged and celebrating with friends and family, and then you’re excited to start planning the wedding!
Nat x